Listening to the Echos

This week I read the book, The Echo Within by Robert Benson. (If you have not read this book, stop right now, go find it/buy it, come back read this blog and then read the book. Seriously, the book is that good!) Ok, well as you can gather, I loved this book. The ideas Benson presents are thoughts and ideas I’ve been feeling for quite some time. Every free minute I had on Wednesday I read this book. I wanted to soak it all up. One thing Benson spoke on has really been with me all week as I’ve gone throughout ministry here which I wish to share.

A theme throughout this book is that different people and experiences ignite the echo within us, and it is in those moments that God uses them for us to see our true vocation and calling. The key is what we do with those moments. Now Benson notes that God is not a puppeteer and we are merely God’s puppets, but we have choice. But no matter what choices we choose those key moments and events help shape us into becoming the person God created us to be as God breathed unique life into each of us. As I read all of this, I pondered key events and moments in my life. As I reflected, I realized that each of these moments have gotten me to this exact point. I’ve been telling my parents over and over again that this is the right time for me to be in Cape Town. I could not have come earlier and had a peace like this. So what are some of those moments in my life?

1. My family. When God breathed life into me God knew that he was giving life to a little girl who would be raised by some of the finest disciples he had. It has not been until I reached college that I’ve come to realize what a blessing it has been that I am Ross and Lea Ann’s daughter. The fact that I was raised in a home with a theologian is a blessing especially now as I want to study in that same field. The fact that I was raised in a home by a lady who knows what it means to be a friend to others is a joy. Every time a person tells me I love people well, I say, “I learned from my mother.” The fact that I was raised in a home where community and love for others was stressed daily is something I am beyond thankful for. Every conversation had at the dinner table, laughter shared, trials discussed, and tears cried with my parents has helped shape me. As I reflect upon some of those conversations it is only now that I am realizing the significance. I was raised in a home where I was encouraged to follow the beauty of my dreams. WHAT A GIFT!

2. Passport camps. When I finished 7^th grade, the preacher at Passport was Eileen Campbell Reed. This was the first experience I ever had hearing a woman pastor and WOW. I knew in that moment hearing her speak that God called amazing women to preach and a BAPTIST woman at that! In 10^th grade at Passport, I heard the echo within saying “You are called Molly Matthews Brummett to ministry. Go. Go serve in Africa. Go where I send you.” As I heard this, I could not comprehend what those words meant, but I began to surrender to God as only a 15 year old knows how. Then working the summer of 2008, at the end of camp Colleen Walker Burroughs came to end camp with us. In our end discussion of the summer she told me, “Molly, you have the gifts of a pastor.” She probably does not remember saying that, but God using her to speak that truth into me was just another instance where my ears were opened to continue to listen to the voice within.

3. My D.C. semester. I went thinking I would be interning for the organization I wanted to work for for my entire life. Instead, God slammed that door and my face and said, “Stop being so dense….be bold. Continue to follow the call. Go serve. Go minister.” In those life changing, life altering, overwhelming moments, I knew that my experience in DC would forever change the course of my life. Not only did I realize law was not supposed to be my full-time profession although I know law and the continued study of law/policy can only be a blessing and aid in my ministry, but I had the blessing of finding a church community. While in DC, Calvary Baptist rocked my world. It was a place where I saw the Church BEING the BODY OF CHRIST!! It was a place where all were welcome. It was a place where I learned each Sunday from an amazing Baptist, female pastor. It was a place where Calvary was in the community and serving it. It was an intentional place. It was a place where I knew my heart longed to be. It was a place where I heard the voice within saying, “this…this is ministry. Invest your life in things like this.”

4. My years in counseling. (Now this is a disclaimer, if you think you have everything together or if you feel like your life is falling a part…go to counseling. Counseling makes you see life in a whole new light. Seriously, get rid of the stigma you have around counseling, suck up your pride, and make an appointment. It only enhances the life Christ created you to lead….really.) Every session with Bob in high school were moments where God worked. I learned how different situations and hurts shaped me. I learned the power in forgiveness. I learned the power in standing up for myself. I learned that we all have our quirks. I learned that all the quirks within creation shows what an amazing, creative, beautiful God we have! With my sessions with Emily I allowed myself to see that my completeness came in Christ. I realized that I am a strong, independent woman and that is a wonderful thing not a hindrance. I realized that God continues to have great things in store as long as I will but keep walking. I learned that I am not a normal 21 year old, and I should not boast in that but I should rejoice in knowing God breathed life into me 21 years ago knowing that I would not be “normal” but Molly.

5. The World AIDS Day Service. Now you must know the back story in order to understand the full story. Back story: while working camp in 2008 in the gym where we had worship in New Orleans, God whispered into my heart, “Molly…GO…go do something for Africa…go do something for Africa while raising awareness at CNC…you are unlike anyone at CNC who has the unique relationships between faculty, students and staff since you were raised there…trust…GO.” Now at the time, I really had no idea what that was going to look like, but I knew it meant something. Fast forward to the fall of 2009 as I am now president of Global Outreach on campus. One job of GO is that we have the World AIDS Day Chapel as our chapel to do what we would like. Now we tried getting multiple speakers and they all fell through, and it was getting down to the wire. Then I thought…wait, Molly…you do it. Plan an intentional worship service around World AIDS Day chapel. So as I planned and prayed I had no idea what would come of the service and how students would react to the prayer experience and how they would react to the stories we share. But in the moments that I stood and spoke in FBC, I felt a peace from God like never before. In that moment I knew that this was my calling. This chapel was a time where God’s faithfulness was revealed. This was a time I will always look back upon and remember at what it means to hear the inner voice within and follow it, even when the path is not clear. As I finished speaking, I sat down and my mom was right there who surprised me and came. With tears in her eyes she smiled and said, “I witnessed your first sermon. I am so happy.” And in that moment, I knew God was thinking the exact same thing.

6. John Thomas’ words at the Team House this summer in Cape Town. Now The entire time we were here this summer we kept on hearing about John and Avril the pastor and wife who started Living Hope. One night of our time this summer, they actually came for dinner and after eating Nadine’s wonderful food, John shared. As he was telling the story of Living Hope and his journey to start it, I began weeping. I began weeping because here was a man putting words to the desires of my heart. Here was a man who was trying to live out the whole gospel. Here was a man doing with his life what I hope to one day do similarly with mine. As I sat weeping in those moments, I knew my heart was in Cape Town. I knew that those tears were saying more to me than what I even realized. It has only been with time and continued time that I will fully begin to realize what all it means. But I do know that night when John quoted Luke 4:18-19 that God was speaking directly to me. That passage of scripture had been on my heart for some time and as I understood it, got at the heart of Christ’s message. The words Christ spoke are words I felt he was encouraging us to live out as well. So as John spoke those words, I knew God was in that moment.

Now here I am back in Cape Town, back in a place where I feel the entire gospel is being attempted to be lived out. Here I am in a place where these different experiences I’ve shared have shaped me into who God created me to be. Here I am still open, willing and desiring to continue to grow more into, Molly Matthews Brummett. Here I am praying that my ears will never become deaf to the voice within. Here I am hoping that I never plan my life so rigidly that I am not open to the voice of God and how God speaks. Here I am. But where are you along your journey? As you read this, I encourage you to think about key moments and events in your life that have shaped you; moments in which the voice within speaks and you respond as you try to live out your calling. I leave you with these words from Benson, words I hope try daily to live out, “Our search for our calling us leads us to listen deep within ourselves, hoping to hear the echo within, hoping to ungarble and understand the incarnate words spoken into us, hoping to discover how to live into and out of the echo of that word as it resounds within. But we are not meant to stay within ourselves forever. We are meant to be given away, to sound out our word in the world, to give it to others.”