Snapshots

These past few days have been extremely busy and the few free seconds I had I spent watching Felicity. (Kendra has the entire series and I quickly became hooked!) A part of not blogging these past few days was out of busyness but a part was also out of wanting to stop time. There is a part of me that thinks if I do not write down what is going on then time would stop because I’d still be able to experience life here for a long time with no need to capture my thoughts. I know that that has no logical value nor does it make any sense except in my head. But, I do want to blog, and I know when I return home these entries will be a well-spring from which I can drink as I transition back. This entry is entitled “snapshots” because I’ve had multiple experiences these past few days that snapshots of inadequate words will bridge my experience to you.

On Thursday night I went to the Capricorn Celebration after my day ended in Ocean View. Usually when churches come to volunteer for Living Hope they host a Celebration Night one evening in the community where they are working. Shades Mountain came for the entire week and on their last night they hosted a celebration for the people of Capricorn. It is a time of fellowship, singing, testimony, sermon, and food. The evening consisted of many different feelings, thoughts and emotions for me because Capricorn was the place where I worked this summer when I came, and Thursday was my first time back to that community, but one thought in particular I want to share.

I’ve grown up hearing the miracles of Christ. I’ve seen countless skits, heard multiple sermons, reflected on thousands of devotions on the miracles, especially Jesus feeding the 5,000. It was not until Thursday night, however, that the magnitude of that event hit me. I’d always thought it was a neat story and would have been rad to witness. But on Thursday night as the hundreds of people lined up for us to feed them, there somehow seemed to be just the right amount of food. The pots of food did not look like a lot when we began but somehow every mouth was fed and some mouths were even fed twice!! In those moments of serving food, the power of Christ hit me. Here was a man who saw these people hungry, took what he could find, and fed them all. It was amazing to me to fed 200 people, I cannot begin to imagine what it looked like to feed 5,000!! It must have been such a powerful, moving moment. As we passed out food, I realized that God always provides enough. We are never without loaves and fish in our lives, whatever those things may symbolize to us at a give time. We may not always think it is enough, or we may not always be given exactly what we want. But regardless, it is enough, and it satisfies our deepest hunger.

On Friday night I received an email that greatly impacted the next step in my journey. On Friday evening I received an email from Wake Forest saying I was chosen as a Wait Fellow for the class of 2013. In that moment as I read those words, floods of emotions came over me. I was ecstatic and a friend in Cape Town got a taste of that excitement when I called him and all I could do was scream, “I got it! I got it! I got it!! AHHHHHHH!” Joy hit because I realized that Wake really is the place for me regardless of the Wait Fellowship. The Wait Fellowship is merely icing on the cake. Though excitement and joy consumed me, I was also sad because in those moments I wanted to be celebrating with and telling my close friends and family the news. Even though a tinge of sadness struck, I am thankful for being blessed to have such a wonderful community that helped get me this far and will continue to be with me on the next part of my journey.

On Saturday I participated in the Women’s Rally at Ocean View I blogged previously about. It was an amazing time as I fellowshipped there because here women gathered, churched and un-churched, young and old. They were united and enjoyed one another. So many of the women came up to me excited about the small groups that begin this week specifically for women. So many women had smiles on their faces again when you could tell the smile had been gone for a long time. I am so thankful to Pastor Sarah Prince for feeling the call, seeing the need, and meeting it for these women in Ocean View.

After I left the rally, I experienced my first RUGBY game!! (Go Stormers!!) It was such a fun time with Melanie, Kendra, Danielle, Al, Amy, Ronnie, Kenny, Carla and Clynton. Luckily Clynton knows a thing or two about Rugby so he explained the game for me to understand. I loved it!! It is so fast paced and VIOLENT!! (Amy Sauls, you would LOVE rugby…it is way better than hockey. J) Afterwards we went to a restaurant called Primy (not Creamy as I first thought) and thoroughly enjoyed great food, conversation and laughter. I love the laughter here. Since being here, I’ve realized that it isn’t that we don’t laugh in the States, but we get too busy to take time to really sit down and enjoy life with each other. It is in this hustle and bustle trap where the laughter begins to grow quieter and then can completely dim except on occasion.

On Sunday I went with Ronnie to Hillsong. Now here is a disclaimer: I have been very critical of Hillsong ever since I went this summer. I am not always a fan of the “this is a performance type of service where we spend tons of money for the bells and whistles where only pretty people are on stage and our altar calls are always 30 minutes plus.” But, this summer when I came back from the Hillsong service not thoroughly impressed, a friend said, “Molly, I see your point, but don’t you have to think that God uses all types of churches? Don’t you think God is a big enough God that God takes the broken pieces of every church and somehow, someway uses them for the betterment of the Kingdom?” Those questions really began in me a serious questioning and realization that I do not know the “perfect” way to do church and neither does anyone next to me. Due to our different experiences, view points, and beliefs, we all try to be the Body of Christ in the best way we know how. It is not our place to judge one church over another or one worship service over another. It is not our place to go to a church worship service merely for the “fancy lights and great band that gives me a worship high” or go for the “liturgical rituals which make me feel oh so holy.” No. Wherever we find church, wherever we chose to worship should be a place where we find community. And we should not fall into the trap of avoiding a church and being completely closed to it because “it isn’t my thing.” No matter what church service we go to be it traditional, contemporary, blended, fancy-smanzy, or country, we should examine our hearts first as we enter into worship. Hopefully, in examining ourselves we realize that we do not have it all figured out. We are NOT God. Therefore, we should find compassion, respect, and love for those who do “church” differently. Now it doesn’t mean we can’t have discussions about what it means to be the Body of Christ and discuss and try out different types of worship. But, I am really beginning to realize that we all have something to bring to the table: conservatives, fundamentalists, progressives, flaming liberals and the list can go on. If we would turn our hearts from ourselves in worship and what we think is “correct worship and correct doctrine” and turn our hearts toward God, God will reveal what God wishes in whatever type of worship service we find ourselves in.

That is what I found at Hillsong at Sunday at least. Yes, it was still flashy and yes, pretty people flooded the stage. But as we sang, God spoke to me. As we prayed with quite a few uplifted hands in the crowd, I listened to the One who created me. I realized that the power, goodness, and truth of God is present if we are but open (even when it means we remove our jadedness and judgment against those people and worship services which make us a bit “uncomfortable.”)