“I know this moment all to well as by now, you do to. This moment of realization that a journey is over. The realization that the life you had here is no longer and the old is the new reality. Know this, that although you have left South Africa behind, you have not ended this journey, but changed locations. I want you to hold onto this but don’t make it your defining moment. Don’t make it the highlight in your life. Make it a chapter in the story God is penning for you.”
These words from a wonderful, close friend who richly blessed my time in South Africa gives me hope as I continue to make this transition out of South Africa back into America, Tennessee, Carson Newman and home. Everyone keeps on asking me how my “experience” was and I find myself cringing. I cringe because to me the 11 weeks I spent in Cape Town, South Africa is more than an experience. It is more than a trip. It is a part of my life that so shaped me I am forever changed.
I am not sure in all the ways that I am changed. I am not completely sure how what I experienced and who I continued to become in South Africa will transcend into my life back here. But I do know that it will. I do know that I must be patient and continue to trust this process of faith back home. I do know that my time in South Africa far exceeded any expectations I could ever imagine. I do know that when I went to South Africa last July I left a piece of myself there, and I do know that when I left after these 11 weeks, I left myself. In South Africa I felt a peace resounding in my entire being that had been missing for a while. In South Africa I found my independence yet dependence. In South Africa I saw the grace in community. In South Africa I found hope. In South Africa I found joy. In South Africa I found the beauty of seeking God in the every day. In South Africa I realized the liberation of patience and trusting God’s timing. In South Africa I discovered a huge part of myself. I continued to see the story that God breathed into me when I was created be revealed. In South Africa I truly lived.
I could not have had such a wonderful, life giving time without the people who entered into my story with me. To Sarah and Casey: thank you for showing me the beauty in living the life you are called to even if that goes against “society.” To Kenny and Carla: thank you for showing me the beauty in a true partnership for marriage. To Danielle: thank you for your continued laughter and sweet spirit that made even the hardest days happy. To Melanie Dill, Meagan, Kendra, and Melissa: thank you for the Fab 5 and being sisters that I’ve never had. Thank you for the laughter, joy, honesty, and love we shared. To Ronnie, Amy and Andy: thank you for befriending me form the get go and always being there for me from borrowing hair straightners to jeans to laughter. To Clynton: thank you for being a constant from the very beginning. To Alicia: thank you for always picking me up with a smile on your face and listening ear. Our car rides mean more to me than you know. To Christina: thank you for pouring into me and for the countless Mugg and Bean chats we shared. To the Ocean View staff: thank you for letting me do ministry alongside you. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives. Thank you for pouring into me. To the Teens Team: thank you for letting me be the nerdy brain box I am and for bringing me continual joy the 11 weeks I was there. To the children of Ocean View and Mountain View: thank you for being Christ to me in so many ways.
This blog seems so inadequate as I re-read what I’ve written. Words cannot sum up the past 11 weeks of my life. Words cannot adequately express how I changed and how I am impacted. Words cannot adequately express how much those I befriended and who befriended me mean to me. If I was forced to sum up my entire time in one word, however inadequate that word may be, it would be “love.” 1 John 4:7 was lived out to the fullest while there. And it is that love I hold on to and bring back with me.
Words cannot adequately express my past 11 weeks, but thank you for following my inadequate words these past 11 weeks and for entering into my journey with me.
This journey has just begun. The story is not finished. God is continuing to pen my life’s story. There is no period after my time in South Africa but merely a momentary pause, an ellipsis perhaps, as I continue this journey stateside for a bit.
