A Moment with Nathaniel

Tuesday was my last full day as a Living Hope volunteer. It was a heart-wrenching day from my last time in morning devotion to my last Teens Team meeting to my exit interview. All day long I was trying to soak up every moment while looking forward to as well as dreading Kids Club because I knew when Kids Club was over and as I said my goodbyes then my 10 weeks of ministry here was “over.” Then, Nathaniel and I had a moment and I had an epiphany.

Nathaniel has been one 10 year old boy that I have connected with throughout my time at Ocean View Kids Club. He has a smile that lights up the entire room and is always up for a chat. On Tuesday, however, Nathaniel was starting to nag and punch another girl so Alistar made him go outside as punishment. My heart wrenched at this because I thought, “Oh man…my last day in club and Nathaniel isn’t even a part of it!” But, as club went on and our kids began to color, I decided to go outside and see if I could find Nathaniel. Nathaniel was outside on the steps just frowning and looking like he had the whole weight of the world on his shoulders. I sat down beside him in silence for quite some time because he was not responsive to my questions then finally the silence broke. Nathaniel with tears streaming down his face said, “Molly, it was a tough day today. My friends were just really mean to me at school and said awful things to me. It was just hard. And no one understands.” In those moments after Nathaniel spoke I tried to give encouragement as best I could. I’m really not sure if what I said changed his life or if he left feeling any better but after we finished chatting I said, “want to color with me?” And in those moments of coloring as we just sat and colored I knew that ministry of presence was meaning volumes. Tears streamed down Nathaniel’s face as we just sat and colored and I hugged him. In spending time with Nathaniel Tuesday I was reminded again of the power of the ministry of presence.

If I had been distant to these kids the past 10 weeks then that moment would have just been an awkward American volunteer who came in to “try to save the day.” If I had spent the entire time lecturing Nathaniel and hammering with questions about why he hit that girl or why his friends were mad or whether or not he showed love to his enemies he probably would have shut me out. But, in the moments when I told Nathaniel that I had plenty of days were people were just downright cruel to me and in the moments when he and I colored, the spirit of God moved. Nathaniel showed me that sure I’ve spoken truth into these kids lives from the Bible stories and such. And yes, the children have come to know more and more about Christ through the curriculum we teach. The curriculum will still be in use after I go and more volunteers will come in and pick up where I left off wth that, but what they cannot replace is my ministry of presence here. I did not do it perfectly. Sometimes I probably should have spoken more or asked more questions about the kids belief in Christ. But, through Nathaniel I realized that the moments I spent coloring, dancing, running around, braiding hair, holding hands, hugging necks, and just sitting and laughing with the children are where God moved the most. I kept on thinking about Job’s friends and how the first 7 days they came and sat with Job. They showed him ministry of presence but then when they started speaking and trying to say the “right, Biblical” things, they messed it all up because they didn’t know when to be quiet. Ministry of presence is a powerful tool, and I’m not sure what parts of my ministry will last after I leave this place, but through Nathaniel I gained hope that all my coloring, smiling, laughing and just being with kids is ministry enough and ministry that God has used, is using, and will continue to use to ever reveal and redeem these beautiful children of God.